Relaxation?

So Saturday afternoon I found myself sitting in the lobby of a massage clinic. I had had a severe headache for several days and was hoping for a bit of respite. While I was sitting in the clinic a massage therapist walked in through the front door, walked up to the front desk and asked the receptionists "Which one of ya'll want to take me out back and beat me up?" I thought that was an interesting way to say hello. My immediate thought was "That is going to be my massage therapist."

Sure enough, 10 minutes later she came back out and called my name. I followed her back to the room. Everything started out perfectly normal. She began telling me about her life - 4 month old baby boy, boyfriend, friends with boyfriends in prison (I thought this was a bit unprofessional but nothing else about this). She told me quite a bit about one of her "girl friends". I assumed that she meant one her friends that is a girl.

Well, about 30 minutes into the massage she had me turn over on my back. After she had massaged my head and neck for a couple of minutes she began to slow down. She had been yawning loudly for most of the 30 minutes that she had been giving me the massage. I wondered if she was falling asleep. Just after that she stopped, turned down the lights, and then began the massage again. Less than 2 minutes later she bent down and KISSED ME ON MY FOREHEAD!! "What was THAT?" I asked her. She answered, " OH... Sorry, it was nothing?" Nothing? I had just been kissed by a girl with whom I had been in this room for the past 30 minutes, wearing practically nothing, and letting her touch me! I get sick just thinking about it. So I asked her again, " WHAT WAS THAT?". Her response? "Nothing, Nothing. I thought I saw something by you and I was trying to get it. Don't worry, it is gone now." Of course it was gone there was nothing there in the first place. Needless to say, I was extremely disgusted at this point and very much in shock. I told her that I had no desire to finish the massage. "You want to discontinue?" she asked me. I firmly told her yes and waited for her to leave to room so I could get dressed and RUN out of there.

I told the people at the front desk what happened. They were kind enough to not make me pay for the massage ;) Then I got out of there as quickly as possible. As you can imagine, most everyone has found this quite hysterical. I am getting to the point where I can begin to laugh about it. I was, however, VERY, VERY, disturbed for a few days. I guess it is a given that I will no longer be looking to massages for relaxation.